Comments on: A Different Kind of Gay Marriage

By: Isa Almisry

Isa Almisry — Wed, 23 Mar 2011 05:52:32 +0000

In reply to Silouan. Would you say that a devotional life without taking communion would work? Lovemaking in a marriage is not just an added option: where do you think all those children which are refered to repeatedly in the marriage rite come from?

By: Silouan

Silouan — Mon, 21 Mar 2011 17:25:26 +0000

In reply to George Patsourakos.

Aren’t most heterosexual men attracted to people other than their wives? The fact of sexual temptation and the risk of adultery don’t make us suggest that heterosexual marriage is impractical; instead we teach men how to cut off thoughts before they become temptations.

Single men are expected to practice continence until or unless they marry. And married men find themselves practicing continence whether they want to or not during late pregnancy, or when the wife is not in the mood …or the 51% of the year we’re fasting. So it’s hard to believe that a marriage is bound to fail only because it doesn’t provide a venue for sexual activity.

It’s strange that we teach our children that marriage is a sacrament and a place to work out our salvation, not just a license for sex – and then we look at a marriage without a sexual component and say “It’ll never work.”

By: Monday Highlights | Pseudo-Polymath

Monday Highlights | Pseudo-Polymath — Mon, 21 Mar 2011 14:09:51 +0000

[…] Gay marriage? […]

By: Harry Coin

Harry Coin — Sat, 19 Mar 2011 01:15:50 +0000

What is understood about psychology in general is “stone knives and bear skins” compared to what we understand about most all other medicine, science, technology and so forth. This seems like a worthy experimental attempt at happiness regarding something we choose to put under one name but might have many forms, reasons and origins. The people involved seem to have chosen this freely and I wish them well.

I know a couple from college who did this, still married these 25 years, happy kids. He’s “Mr. Mom”, staying home raising the kids. She’s got a professional career, advanced degrees and so on. Christian family. Would that work for everyone? I have no idea, but I’m happy for them.

By: Rob Zechman

Rob Zechman — Fri, 18 Mar 2011 22:45:23 +0000

If these marriages are a “sham”, why do we bother telling same-sex oriented believers that they should reject their inclinations and marry a heterosexual of the opposite sex? What I think you’re suggesting is that the only option for gay men and women is total and complete celibacy until death whether they’ve taken clerical vows or not.

By: Seth G.

Seth G. — Fri, 18 Mar 2011 17:25:39 +0000

It’s disconcerting to me that childbearing is being removed from human sexuality in these gay-lesbian marriages. I can’t help but see this as being an ultra-orthodox Jewish way of saying that they’ll help gays and lesbians perform sham marriages so they don’t have to come out in the community, but they can theoretically lead a *wink wink* sort of clandestine homosexual life.

I suppose it could work, but an article where we read that they can have “lapses” without thinking of them as betrayals, they bring children into the world in a laboratory, and they describe the relationship as “business partners” with a “great deal of platonic love” doesn’t indicate to me that it’s going to work.

This doesn’t strike me as much different from a situation that a high school teacher of mine told me about, where some friends he had in the navy took wives so they wouldn’t be expelled from the military, and their wives understood that they were free to carry on extra-marital relationships while the men loved each other, but they all got the social, financial, and professional security of heterosexual marriage and family life.

The case here may not be quite as cynical, and it may even be somewhat wholesome for now, but I suspect it will devolve into something vicious. I don’t have a wholly romantic outlook on marriage, and tend to think it can be virtuous and healthy even where there are these kinds of special hurdles to overcome, but I would have to know much, much more about this situation before I could espouse the idea that it’s more than a sham. I certainly wouldn’t want to see it replicated in Christian communities anytime soon.

By: Fr. Johannes Jacobse

Fr. Johannes Jacobse — Fri, 18 Mar 2011 14:34:45 +0000

Keep in mind here is that the spouses are committed to the Jewish moral law as well. Those attractions are there, but they are obeying the law in spite of them.

By: Geo Michalopulos

Geo Michalopulos — Fri, 18 Mar 2011 14:24:47 +0000

In reply to George Patsourakos. George, you may be right, but emotional bonds that can develop between the couple in question may overcome temptations. After all, the polygamous imperative among all males is a passion to be overcome regardless of the sexual proclivity in question. Yet those of us who are straight realize that we must at least make the effort. Let's not forget, society itself places sanctions against the natural male drive to inseminate as many females as possible (as do our wives). We all regard this as necessary for society to function, why then not offer a modification of the natural sanction for homosexuals?

By: George Patsourakos

George Patsourakos — Fri, 18 Mar 2011 14:09:04 +0000

I do not believe a gay man marrying a lesbian woman will result in a long-lasting marriage. After all, gay men are attracted to other men, and lesbians are attracted to women.

This kind of marriage may last for a year or two, but I just cannot picture it lasting longer. In fact, I can almost certainly predict a lot of unfaithfulness in this kind of marriage, as the gay husband will most likely cheat with a gay man, while the lesbian wife will very likely cheat with another lesbian woman.